Annapolis Race Week

Looking behind us between races

Wow, what a ride!  We had amazing conditions for this series of races & all I can say is, "whew!"  I am tired  & bruised, but very glad I participated this year.  I wasn't able to race on Saturday because my BFF(J)'s son was a Bar Mitzvah & of course I was there.  He did an amazing job & the service & luncheon were very nice--my BFF(J) should be so proud!  I know she is.  I was happy to be there to share in the special occasion as her family was there for my son's as well.  My son told me that the evening kid's party was a lot of fun too (I had skipped town by then & down in Annapolis to join my crew). 

Day Two of ARW looked & had great wind--we seemed to gel well as a crew & we sailed well--after the races, Barry dropped by to speak to us about how we felt we did & what we learned, etc.  I am excited to begin to look at improving our game--I just want to learn to race better--trim the kite, jib, etc & develop a real understanding to make the boat go faster.  Sunday was an example of a team that executed well & although we didn't win or for that matter even place, I think we all finished that day feeling like we accomplished something--no drama & excellent teamwork.  One of my off-season tasks is to learn the rules--the book is a thick one & I think getting a better understanding of the rules will also approve my racing.    Also great was having the opportunity to sail a regatta with Xing Fu--he has so much more knowledge then I do & I certainly want to learn from him as well--he's been at this racing gig far, far longer than I have & I can certainly benefit from his input.

After the races, we all took the water taxi over to City Dock for the party.  Of course the Dark n' Stormies flowed as Gosling's was one of the sponsors--many quite jovial sailors.... We met up with friends of ours who will be getting married this week--I am very excited for them & look forward to seeing pictures & hearing all about it when they get back.  We went to dinner & had a great time together--they were a lot of fun & it was good to spend some time with them. 

Monday had great wind & we were looking forward to another day.  For me it was a bit more difficult--I woke up feeling a little ill--nope, not hungover, just what appeared to be some stomach bugaboo (definitely NOT what you want to have while racing) so I was having difficulties from the jump getting my head in the game--we figured we'd have one or two races so we wanted to make them count.  The second race was quite exciting--we pulled ahead of another boat & then he fouled us by making us alter our course to avoid collision (an example of knowing the rules).  I couldn't watch too much of this as I was busily flying the kite on the leeward leg.  We couldn't find the yellow protest flag & managed to rig a yellow bag of cookies off the backstay--turns out that they did get a penalty so we ranked over them for this race.  As we finished the race, we thought we were done for the day.  But--5 minutes later we were in sequence for a third race.  Off we go, but I think we were all pretty tired by this point & perhaps collectively not prepared for another race thinking we were going home after the second one.  It was a very difficult race for me--I ripped a rather deep gash in my finger crossing the cockpit to fly the kite on the first downwind leg.  I had blood dripping down my fingers & obviously could no longer execute effectively.  I think at that point I hit an emotional & physical wall.  I went down below to try to stop the bleeding & I began to shake all over--the tears were not far behind--I was just so drained.  After a bit, I collected myself & tried to resume my place--just couldn't do it--I managed to reopen the gash & just had to quit--there is nothing more frustrating & helpless when all you can do is sit on the mast & watch everyone else work around you--I felt incredibly defeated--still--a learning experience because I'd never had that happen before--it was a tough time but I still feel positive about what I've learned--certainly made my share of mistakes but I continue to grow & I'll get better.

But the best part of all was time on the water with Xing Fu & my crew--people I've come to really enjoy spending time with & consider my friends--thanks all for a great race!

A Blur...But Awesome!

"..Today you are a fountain pen."

What an amazing weekend!  It was quite the blur but what I do remember just blew me away.  First off, my son was was truly amazing to watch during his service.  I was honored to be his mom.  I say this a lot but it's so true.  He was self-assured in front of so many adults & his peers--he had expression, he engaged the audience--his singing/chanting was spot-on (I'm not just saying this because he's my child--ask anyone who was there...).  I challenge many adults to do as good a job--really.  I was so proud of him--all of his work & consistent study most definitely paid off & he led the congregation as if he's been doing it all of his life.  He admitted to me that he was nervous when he started but soon after he found his rhythm.  The people & rabbi/cantors from my congregation were incredible as well--so helpful & supportive--I remember my Bat Mitzvah as quite the ordeal but at my synagogue everyone was involved & created an intimate feel for the service--it was beautiful--people who've never been to a Jewish Shabbat service let alone to a Bar Mitzvah said they were moved at the joy & beauty they witnessed....

My family was super as well--no weird politics, everyone participated & we all came together to ensure that my son's special day was indeed a spectacular one.  My BIL was great giving the 2nd Aliyah and blessings & my sisters & their families were part of the service too--opening & closing the ark.  My son honored Xing Fu by having him on the bimah to open the ark.  It was great that my extended family traveled from far & near to be part of our day--looking out over all of the people at the service I felt so honored & supported--lucky, lucky.  Not to mention our friends--especially the families of my BFFs(A&J)--I have the bestest friends as does my kid...

The parties afterwards both the luncheon & the kid's party were great.  The food, the music, the company...My son was a mensch--walking around to all of the lunch tables & greeting all of his guests--even the ones he didn't know--again making me proud of his social skills even in the awkward teenage years.  My son's candle-lighting ceremony was a lovely tribute to the people that have touched his life--even the woman who watched him during the first 2 years of his life while my ex & I worked (yup, he actually worked!).  To sum up--the entire event was just phenomenal & many thanks to the players behind the scenes who made it so.


This could have been a very difficult time for Xing Fu as well--meeting so many of my family & friends all at once & being there for me as I stress out royally--he was just amazing--I am a very lucky gal--very interactive--genuinely interested & involved with my family & friends--in one word--engaging.  It was asking a lot to have to deal with everyone all at once & many people approached me later to say how nice he was & how obviously devoted he was to me & my son.  And he was with us from start to finish--the entire "ordeal"(said with a grin).  We just get better & better together--

There are a few folk out there waiting to hear about the ex-factor (in fact some people check my blog almost 10 times daily to see if I've posted) & I wouldn't dream of letting them down.  Certainly interesting to have him there--he even said to me that he was being well-behaved--he was--credit for that--I spoke to him, was cordial & even friendly--introduced Xing Fu & they even had a chat.  I asked Xing Fu later if my ex had any dire warnings for him about me...but in all honesty the physically attractive man I married was not there anymore(even his blue eyes looked tired & lackluster--no spirit or spark behind them)--it was rather sad & the comparison most of my friends & family made between Xing Fu & the ex was telling.  Xing Fu is a few years older than my ex & my ex looked twice his age...was the first comment.  One of my co-workers remarked to me, "What were you thinking???!!  You were married to that?  I can't even imagine that!"  I replied that he didn't look remotely like that when we were married--time has not been kind.  But..this is only a part--I wondered what he thought of his son--he certainly contributed little to nothing to helping him get to this day--doesn't really know our son anymore--he used to claim that our son was autistic...not with the social skills he displayed on Saturday!  Did he sit out in the seats thinking that he had nothing to do with this amazing kid leading the congregation so easily; that his own child was a bit of a stranger to him?  Was he sad about the loss?  Did he even care?  I'm sure he was proud but he can't claim any responsibility, really--sperm donation & a few years.  He was a good father to our child early on but now he can't really claim true fatherhood.  He could have chosen to be more involved, but instead my son is like a stranger in many ways.  Sad.  (Hope I've satisfied the stalkers out there)


All I can say is that it was a weekend that will be a cherished memory for me.  I am a very proud & happy "mather" as my son calls me.

Ready, Set....

 
Go?  

It's beginning--the family is descending upon us....not a bad thing, but now all this prep is becoming a reality.  Not sure I'm ready for prime time yet.  I'm nervous & stressed but my kid--cool as cool can be--go figure, mebbe Saturday will be a different story.  I was so tense yesterday (mostly because of work related stuff), that I had...to....go...sailing.....(even if it was a Wednesday anyway).  Good race--only 3 of us crewing but we made it around the course & didn't finish at the bottom.

But I digress, this Bar Mitzvah thingy has really taken on a life of it's own.  I worry about the family dynamics (of which there are at least a few), my ex & his baggage (praying he's on his best & least obtrusive behavior), all the little details that we haven't thought about, etc., etc., etc.,....all I want to do right now is escape...Calgon, take me away!

I am quite excited & proud of my kiddo--he really has great presence & has got this truly under control--he's treated the whole experience with the right attitude, with respect, & with what I feel is true understanding--he's studied hard & consistently practiced.  I think he can look back on his day Saturday and see that he did "become a man" in some ways.  Right now he's gone to the baseball game with his cousins--glad he has the opportunity, as I did last night, to unwind & not think about Saturday & its implications.  But I, time to hit the ground running....so much to do, so little time.

Preparations

Insanely busy time right now--my son's Bar Mitzvah is occupying a lot of time & stress as well as the end of school activities & a major race this weekend.  I may have bald spots at the end of all this....

What I find hugely interesting & somewhat nerve-wracking is the upcoming interplay between all of the participants in this component of life's little drama.  I'm referring of course to the family dynamics, the exes, the mishpocheh, etc., & all of what that entails for the Bar Mitzvah.  I'm a bit nervous regarding my ex--his involvement & the fact that my boyfriend is very involved with me & my son--this is a whole new avenue for me to explore & one that makes Xing Fu & I have a bit of trepidation.  Many evenings & weekends, the three of us spend time together--recently I hosted a dinner for Xing Fu & his mother and the relationship between he & my son is evolving into a very nice one (Case in point: My son is excited to show off his summer camp to Xing Fu when we drive down to drop my son off). And, after all, he's only heard about my ex through me & my family & certainly little of it has been positive.  I hasten to add however, that there are positives--I do give credit to him about my excellent cooking skills that everyone claims I have now & the fact that I have a real understanding of how flavors & textures can work to create amazing things in food.  Certainly, many people, including my BF reap the benefits of my culinary talents. But the overarching theme is a decidedly negative one in reference to my ex.  I hope that he will conduct himself appropriately as this is a celebration of his son's accomplishments even if my ex is not Jewish, or for that matter, very Christian.  And certainly, my ex is welcome to be there, but his involvement in his son's life has been minimal to none.  I know my former father-in-law is very proud of his grandson as is my former sister-in-law & neither of them would even remotely want to create drama.  My ex, who knows, appropriate decorum was never his strong suit.  I will give him the benefit of the doubt--I just want my son's day to be a special & wonderfully memorable one that is free of the seamy underside of divorce & it's inherent drama.

As it stands right now--most of those who we've invited are coming to the event--there will be a ton of people.  I'm certainly thrilled that there are so many friends, & family who want to share with us--it makes me feel great that my son has so many people out there who love & care about him.

Another source of stress are the snoopers to this blog--I can never understand some people's fascination with all of this....  Last I heard, this country is founded on freedom of speech--and certainly I do not name names.  What are y'all looking for?  Condemnation?  Confirmation?  There are a lot of folk from all avenues of my life looking, looking, looking...some everyday & some with veiled threats....is my life all that interesting?  Apparently so for some out there!  I've been advised a few times to make this blog "Invitation Only", but I honestly don't want to do that--I have readers from Hungary to New Zealand to Germany & beyond--that's awfully nice, but why should I cut them off because various individuals are unhappy?  See, I'm not referring to my general readership who have very positive things to say, I'm talking about the stalkers--the negative ones.  Yep, I know that when one writes a blog & it's out there for the world to see,  it exposes the writer to certain criticisms, etc., but still....let it go!  I guess I'm flattered in a weird way....