Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Blur...But Awesome!

"..Today you are a fountain pen."

What an amazing weekend!  It was quite the blur but what I do remember just blew me away.  First off, my son was was truly amazing to watch during his service.  I was honored to be his mom.  I say this a lot but it's so true.  He was self-assured in front of so many adults & his peers--he had expression, he engaged the audience--his singing/chanting was spot-on (I'm not just saying this because he's my child--ask anyone who was there...).  I challenge many adults to do as good a job--really.  I was so proud of him--all of his work & consistent study most definitely paid off & he led the congregation as if he's been doing it all of his life.  He admitted to me that he was nervous when he started but soon after he found his rhythm.  The people & rabbi/cantors from my congregation were incredible as well--so helpful & supportive--I remember my Bat Mitzvah as quite the ordeal but at my synagogue everyone was involved & created an intimate feel for the service--it was beautiful--people who've never been to a Jewish Shabbat service let alone to a Bar Mitzvah said they were moved at the joy & beauty they witnessed....

My family was super as well--no weird politics, everyone participated & we all came together to ensure that my son's special day was indeed a spectacular one.  My BIL was great giving the 2nd Aliyah and blessings & my sisters & their families were part of the service too--opening & closing the ark.  My son honored Xing Fu by having him on the bimah to open the ark.  It was great that my extended family traveled from far & near to be part of our day--looking out over all of the people at the service I felt so honored & supported--lucky, lucky.  Not to mention our friends--especially the families of my BFFs(A&J)--I have the bestest friends as does my kid...

The parties afterwards both the luncheon & the kid's party were great.  The food, the music, the company...My son was a mensch--walking around to all of the lunch tables & greeting all of his guests--even the ones he didn't know--again making me proud of his social skills even in the awkward teenage years.  My son's candle-lighting ceremony was a lovely tribute to the people that have touched his life--even the woman who watched him during the first 2 years of his life while my ex & I worked (yup, he actually worked!).  To sum up--the entire event was just phenomenal & many thanks to the players behind the scenes who made it so.

This could have been a very difficult time for Xing Fu as well--meeting so many of my family & friends all at once & being there for me as I stress out royally--he was just amazing--I am a very lucky gal--very interactive--genuinely interested & involved with my family & friends--in one word--engaging.  It was asking a lot to have to deal with everyone all at once & many people approached me later to say how nice he was & how obviously devoted he was to me & my son.  And he was with us from start to finish--the entire "ordeal"(said with a grin).  We just get better & better together--

There are a few folk out there waiting to hear about the ex-factor (in fact some people check my blog almost 10 times daily to see if I've posted) & I wouldn't dream of letting them down.  Certainly interesting to have him there--he even said to me that he was being well-behaved--he was--credit for that--I spoke to him, was cordial & even friendly--introduced Xing Fu & they even had a chat.  I asked Xing Fu later if my ex had any dire warnings for him about me...but in all honesty the physically attractive man I married was not there anymore(even his blue eyes looked tired & lackluster--no spirit or spark behind them)--it was rather sad & the comparison most of my friends & family made between Xing Fu & the ex was telling.  Xing Fu is a few years older than my ex & my ex looked twice his age...was the first comment.  One of my co-workers remarked to me, "What were you thinking???!!  You were married to that?  I can't even imagine that!"  I replied that he didn't look remotely like that when we were married--time has not been kind.  But..this is only a part--I wondered what he thought of his son--he certainly contributed little to nothing to helping him get to this day--doesn't really know our son anymore--he used to claim that our son was autistic...not with the social skills he displayed on Saturday!  Did he sit out in the seats thinking that he had nothing to do with this amazing kid leading the congregation so easily; that his own child was a bit of a stranger to him?  Was he sad about the loss?  Did he even care?  I'm sure he was proud but he can't claim any responsibility, really--sperm donation & a few years.  He was a good father to our child early on but now he can't really claim true fatherhood.  He could have chosen to be more involved, but instead my son is like a stranger in many ways.  Sad.  (Hope I've satisfied the stalkers out there)

All I can say is that it was a weekend that will be a cherished memory for me.  I am a very proud & happy "mather" as my son calls me.

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