Sunday, November 30, 2008

Clay Feet

Who would've thunk it? I may be breaking free from the bull's hold over me.

This weekend was very busy--of course. My sister was in & I couldn't have been happier. I miss her like crazy & she actually can get through my blockheadedness like no one else.

Friday: Made reservations at a very nice restaurant near Fort McHenry for my sis, her husband , the bull & myself. Wanted her to have an opportunity to meet him--wanted her impressions, etc.

Earlier in the day, I had gone wine-tasting with one bff & my sis. The bull calls & says he's on 695--an hour early! For him this is massive because he is ALWAYS late! So now I'm in panic mode but at least my sis & my bff (who's been dying to give him a piece of her mind for over a month now) had unprecedented access to the bull. My bff totally launched into him--embarrassed the shit out of me but I think he got her point. LOVE YOU--BFF (1) We have a few hours before we meet my sis for dinner & I learn some not so nice things about the bull--or at least I realize things about him I wasn't ready to see earlier. I have begun my journey to epiphany or as my sis would say--"I'm having a come to Jesus" moment.

Dinner was great--not cheap & he pays our half without complaint--gotta give him credit for that. My sis gets to question him for about three minutes & he insists that he won't hurt me & that I can take care of myself, blah, blah, blah. Later on my sister & I talk about this of course & as I said, she really helps me continue to get the REAL situation & not my rosy hazed filters furthering my ability to come up for air at last.....

The rest is, well--my time to see that I deserve better & that I want better. I like the bull a lot--he has his moments but I think that maybe my very skewed perception of him has changed & now I can control the situation with him instead of it controlling me. And even more I think that the new men I see won't have to be measured up against the bull anymore--I can see them for themselves & not through a filter. I can only hope & now here it is in cyber-print so the words stand....

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