Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Insanely busy time right now--my son's Bar Mitzvah is occupying a lot of time & stress as well as the end of school activities & a major race this weekend.  I may have bald spots at the end of all this....

What I find hugely interesting & somewhat nerve-wracking is the upcoming interplay between all of the participants in this component of life's little drama.  I'm referring of course to the family dynamics, the exes, the mishpocheh, etc., & all of what that entails for the Bar Mitzvah.  I'm a bit nervous regarding my ex--his involvement & the fact that my boyfriend is very involved with me & my son--this is a whole new avenue for me to explore & one that makes Xing Fu & I have a bit of trepidation.  Many evenings & weekends, the three of us spend time together--recently I hosted a dinner for Xing Fu & his mother and the relationship between he & my son is evolving into a very nice one (Case in point: My son is excited to show off his summer camp to Xing Fu when we drive down to drop my son off). And, after all, he's only heard about my ex through me & my family & certainly little of it has been positive.  I hasten to add however, that there are positives--I do give credit to him about my excellent cooking skills that everyone claims I have now & the fact that I have a real understanding of how flavors & textures can work to create amazing things in food.  Certainly, many people, including my BF reap the benefits of my culinary talents. But the overarching theme is a decidedly negative one in reference to my ex.  I hope that he will conduct himself appropriately as this is a celebration of his son's accomplishments even if my ex is not Jewish, or for that matter, very Christian.  And certainly, my ex is welcome to be there, but his involvement in his son's life has been minimal to none.  I know my former father-in-law is very proud of his grandson as is my former sister-in-law & neither of them would even remotely want to create drama.  My ex, who knows, appropriate decorum was never his strong suit.  I will give him the benefit of the doubt--I just want my son's day to be a special & wonderfully memorable one that is free of the seamy underside of divorce & it's inherent drama.

As it stands right now--most of those who we've invited are coming to the event--there will be a ton of people.  I'm certainly thrilled that there are so many friends, & family who want to share with us--it makes me feel great that my son has so many people out there who love & care about him.

Another source of stress are the snoopers to this blog--I can never understand some people's fascination with all of this....  Last I heard, this country is founded on freedom of speech--and certainly I do not name names.  What are y'all looking for?  Condemnation?  Confirmation?  There are a lot of folk from all avenues of my life looking, looking, looking...some everyday & some with veiled threats....is my life all that interesting?  Apparently so for some out there!  I've been advised a few times to make this blog "Invitation Only", but I honestly don't want to do that--I have readers from Hungary to New Zealand to Germany & beyond--that's awfully nice, but why should I cut them off because various individuals are unhappy?  See, I'm not referring to my general readership who have very positive things to say, I'm talking about the stalkers--the negative ones.  Yep, I know that when one writes a blog & it's out there for the world to see,  it exposes the writer to certain criticisms, etc., but still....let it go!  I guess I'm flattered in a weird way....

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